When it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon, but you've got some Feats of Meat testing to do, whatever do you do? Move the test kitchen to the beach!

A while back, we showed you the hamburger using grilled cheeses as the buns (affectionately dubbed the "Fatty Melt" by its creator). A splendid and delicious looking idea indeed, but we decided we could do better:



That, my friends, is a burger with two grilled ham, tomato, and cheeses for the buns. God yes.



As you can see, we made this monstrosity on the grill on the beach. This, in my mind, should quiet you naysayers who are whining right now about how it's not pretty enough. First of all, this is a thing of beauty:





We cooked the sandwiches first separately over the grill, then the burgers, and then assembled them and grilled them a bit longer. You know, to let the flavors marry.



Note that our version is so badass, that we had to use two full hamburger patties just counteract the awesomeness of the sandwiches:



And finally, Emily will demonstrate for you the proper way to consume our creation:



Please do not try to eat one of these with out an entire chicken in your other hand.

I'm going to go ahead and call this one a success. I don't think I could ever go back to eating a boring ol' burger with boring ol' regular grilled cheeses cooked in a regular ol' skillet ever again. Yes, it's true that others have improved upon the original as well:



Which looks delicious. I'd even be willing to call it a tie, if not for our far superior backdrop:



WIN!

I think we can certainly deem this creation to be Feats of Meat Recommended. Just be sure to make it with about 14 other friends around to help you eat it.

This also comes from the aforementioned A Hamburger Today., but I thought it deserved a post of its own. This can be best described as a beautiful love story staring a man and his Luther Burger (and filmed at the infamous Daly City Double Threat):


The Where-Is-Your-God-Now? Burger from MAKE MOVIES on Vimeo.

If this doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you have no soul.

Congratulations Tom and Kerry Watts:



This happy couple opted to forgo the boring wedding cake and went for a 42lb burger instead. Respect.

Tom lays it down for us: "Not only did I get to marry the woman of my dreams but I also got to have the burger of my dreams in the same day.

"I could not believe the size of the burger. It was just incredible. Everything has just been amazing. It was the best day ever."

I'll bet it was. But wait, this is all well and good, but how did you chase it down?

Kerry: "We love chocolate too so we also had a chocolate cake."

There is so much amazingness in this article, I should probably just have quoted the entire thing. Here are the burger stats:

It had to be cooked for three hours and required three chefs to lift it out of the oven before it could be put into the specially made sesame seeded bun.
The bun alone weighed 5kg and staff had to cut it in half using a saw. The burger also featured 12 iceberg lettuces, 12 onions, 30 tomatoes, 48 slices of dill pickle, 2kg of cheese, a litre of ketchup and a litre of mayonnaise.

Please take notes, S'tevé's future wife!

At this point, I should probably just throw up a post every week reminding you to check out A Hamburger Today. They continue to amaze us (and put us to shame) with all the fantastic burger related feats that they are able to track down. Here's a little sampling just from the past few weeks:

1. The Hamburger Dress


2. The Cheeseburger Pumpkin

Note that everything in this picture is made from pumpkin!

3. The SCRAPPLE topped burger!

Another thing I can't believe I haven't tried. I've been meaning to do a full post on the wonder that is Scrapple. It may have to wait until after I visit Pennsylvania later this month and refresh my memory.

4. The Sneaker Burger


5. The Wooden Burger


So yeah, you should probably visiting this blog on a daily basis. And seriously AHT, you're making us look like chumps with your constant badassness. Not cool AHT, not cool.

A few months ago, Lauren Lauren married one of our groupies, The Aristocrat. The wedding and reception were beautiful, and unbelievably fun. The requisite open bar offered the guests a veritable cornucopia of beverage options. However, as we are known to do, we lamented the lack of meat drinks on the menu, and on earth in general. We are, if nothing else, ungrateful sonsofbitches.

Luckily our cries were heard by Low Red Land drummer and bartender extraordinaire Mark Devito. He was not going to stand back and let us leave the wedding with even the slightest tinge of disappointment. So he concocted what I think we can immediately deem the most delicious and beautiful meat drink the world has ever seen:

THE STEAKTINI!

The Steaktini consists of vodka, steak, and a dash of pepper shaken over ice, strained, and served with a steak garnish. I'm pretty sure someone tasted it, although the author is ashamed to report that he did not.

Sadly, I'm not sure this photo made it into the wedding album. For some reason the focus of the evening seemed to be elsewhere!

Also, and I'd say this is a feat unto itself, this is quite possibly the grossest photo ever to grace the pages of Feats of Meat.

Gasp!



Mr B. at Bacon Today noticed something very intriguing, and certainly not coincidental. An unrolled uncooked cinnamon roll just so happens to be the same size as a slice of uncooked bacon:



I think at this point we all know what this means. Time to roll up some bacon in a cinnamon roll and cook that shit!



At this point I think we need to establish a "How on Earth Did We Not Think of That" department here at Feats of Meat. Because seriously, why haven't we done this? Look how fantastic that looks:



Rest assured that we will be giving this a shot sometime soon. And, not to worry, we will certainly try to add something to it in order to "make it better."

So it seems that chicken fried bacon is gaining some traction outside of the south and the Feats of Meat test kitchen. It appears that the local bar Buckshot offers this culinary masterpiece:



It also appears that Chicago is catching on.

I can't help but think that we had a small part in this new trend, Feats of Meaters. Commence patting yourselves on the back.

via SFist

I normally try to keep the feats of meat to more genuine feats, but this idea seemed like it warranted special mention on this site:

I think the fish sticks are my favorite:


NOTCOT: Banksy's Village Petstore & Charcoal Grill from Jean Aw on Vimeo.