Thanks for coming everyone!

AHHHH!



I don't know what meatbread is (it appears to be a sandwich), but I do know an excellent way to keep said sandwich from falling apart when I see it. The bacon weave is like the Feats of Meat duct tape, you can use it for pretty much anything.

Via Supersizedmeals.com

Randy Taylor is now the unofficial mayor of Feats of Meat-town.



Be careful if you're working, this has bad words. Like "Fucking Pussy Roll of Sausage." You can bet your ass that "Fucking Pussy Roll of Sausage" will be a ringtone title very soon.

BaconCamp - The Internet Bacon Meme in 60 Seconds from Bac'n.com on Vimeo.

Saturday morning I awoke anticipating a day of cleaning/unpacking/other such boring post Utah trip responsibilities. I was decidedly unstoked. Luckily, a quick check of the old inbox changed all that. A loyal Feats of Meat operative had emailed to notify me that BACON CAMP was going down that very afternoon. Obviously, boring time would need to be postponed for another day.

Bacon Camp was held in one of those wide open offices that are so popular with the tech type companies (some sources informed me that we were in the yahoo offices, but I can't and WON'T confirm that, as I prefer to keep my position as someone very much not in the know), which seemed sort of perfect. The first thing that struck me was how many people were there:



There were signs posted here and there that said "Bacon 2.0," and the whole thing seemed almost to be celebrating the bacon meme as much as bacon itself. Mostly, it made me realize how much bacon has blown up lately (as the above video and a high percentage of the posts on this site illustrate). It couldn't have happened to a finer product, but it still struck me a sort of surreal.

Anyway, the "camp" consisted of contestants/bacon enthusiasts coming up one by one to present their bacon creation. They would give a short introduction, and then judges would taste and rate the creation. And then, most importantly, they would deposit this remains of the creation on this table:



The contents of this table were ever changing, and I couldn't sample everything, but here's what I did:

Bacon infused bourbon (just ok)
Chocolate covered bacon (ok)
Chocolate and Civet coffee bean covered bacon (WAY better)
Bacon and blue cheese dip (very good)
Bacon lollipops (not so good)
Some sort of chicken/bacon/alfredo thing (probably would have been good warm)
Bacon pecan pie (disturbing)
Bacon wrapped dates (delicious, standard!)
Bacon wrapped peanut butter (better than it sounds, but the shock of finding peanut butter when I expected date threw me off a bit)
Bacon cupcakes (surprisingly good)

In addition to edible works, there were some beautiful, but inedible works of bacon, and I even managed to get pictures of some of these:









I'm sad that this last picture didn't come out better, because this bacon mobius cube what-have-you was a sight to be seen. I did, however, manage to spill beer all over myself while taking this picture. WORTH IT!

I was unable to last through the 4 hour marathon of Bacon Camp (that's right sports fans, I actually got tired of bacon!), so after a couple hours of tasting all I could I was forced to bid Bacon Camp adieu. So it is only with the caveat that I offer up my votes for the two best bacon creations of the night (both of which, ironically, didn't seem to be entered in the competition, but just offered up by generous attendees):

1. The Bacon Old Fashioned - Bacon Infused Jim Beam and Maple Syrup, served in a glass rimmed with bacon salt. This was actually really good, and the flavors all complemented one another really well.

2. Chicken Fried Bacon with Sausage Gravy Dipping Sauce (my heart jumped just typing that!):


This was some of the best chicken fried bacon I've had (I also can't believe I'm able to type that sentence). Nice and crispy and tasty, and complemented amazingly well by the sausage gravy.

So there you have it. That was my Saturday afternoon. All in all, I'd say Bacon Camp was a fantastic if surreal success. My one hope for next year is that fewer people try the sweet with bacon combos. I understand trying to get clever, but it almost universally failed (except when that sweet it maple syrup, as we all know). And rest assured, next year I'll have more notice and will concoct something epic. This I promise.

Having just returned from a delicious Supenkuche dinner, including dumpling stuffed chicken and some sort of fried cheese with cranberry amazingness, I'm in high spirits. Thus I feel the need to change the tone from my earlier Bacon Explosion pseudo hate-fest.

Our friend and frequent contributor Ally sent me this amazing video a while back, and for some reason I've been holding back on sharing it with the rest of you. No more:



"Now nothing else can top a shower of meat!"

I couldn't have put it better myself. I recommend listening to this song at least once a day. The deep and dark sadness that this song could NOT pull you out of is unfathomable.

First of all, it seems like every other post here begins with an apology for the radio silence. No more. I'm bad about updating consistently, and will constantly be trying to get better. DEAL WITH IT. I have good news for you though. We're entering another time period where you'll be getting a bunch of Feats of Meat posts all in a row! Including a long overdue mega-post covering our New Years Eve Pig Roast.

Anyway, on to the reason for my silence breaking. Chances are that if you're checking this site you have probably already stumbled across the Bacon Explosion.




Great idea, excellent use of the Bacon Mat, and certainly the most submitted Feat of Meat in the history of this site.

HOWEVER! I have a problem, Mr. Bacon Explosion creator. My problem is this:




Why are you slathering this thing in barbeque sauce? What the hell? You crumble cooked bacon onto this beautiful sheet of pork and then sprinkle it with barbecue sauce? THAT'S WHERE THE CHEESE GOES! The finished product looks so good, and then you cover it in this shiny barbeque sauce for some reason. You took two hours to get this nice smoked bacon color on the outside, and you're just going to ruin that perfect crust and color with your shiny brown barbecue sauce. I know you're a barbecue sauce company and all, but your customers will respect you for not trying to force your product into a recipe where it certainly doesn't belong.

All I'm saying is that I'm sad to see something as potentially wondrous as the bacon explosion take what I believe is a fatal turn. It does, however, make me happy that this Sunday, for the Super Bowl, Americans the world over will be forming bacon into mats, covering the mats in sausage and more bacon, and rolling it up. That's all I want in this world. Just, for god's sake, don't cover your beautiful creation in barbecue sauce! And roll some cheese up in there. You'll thank me later.

When it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon, but you've got some Feats of Meat testing to do, whatever do you do? Move the test kitchen to the beach!

A while back, we showed you the hamburger using grilled cheeses as the buns (affectionately dubbed the "Fatty Melt" by its creator). A splendid and delicious looking idea indeed, but we decided we could do better:



That, my friends, is a burger with two grilled ham, tomato, and cheeses for the buns. God yes.



As you can see, we made this monstrosity on the grill on the beach. This, in my mind, should quiet you naysayers who are whining right now about how it's not pretty enough. First of all, this is a thing of beauty:





We cooked the sandwiches first separately over the grill, then the burgers, and then assembled them and grilled them a bit longer. You know, to let the flavors marry.



Note that our version is so badass, that we had to use two full hamburger patties just counteract the awesomeness of the sandwiches:



And finally, Emily will demonstrate for you the proper way to consume our creation:



Please do not try to eat one of these with out an entire chicken in your other hand.

I'm going to go ahead and call this one a success. I don't think I could ever go back to eating a boring ol' burger with boring ol' regular grilled cheeses cooked in a regular ol' skillet ever again. Yes, it's true that others have improved upon the original as well:



Which looks delicious. I'd even be willing to call it a tie, if not for our far superior backdrop:



WIN!

I think we can certainly deem this creation to be Feats of Meat Recommended. Just be sure to make it with about 14 other friends around to help you eat it.

This also comes from the aforementioned A Hamburger Today., but I thought it deserved a post of its own. This can be best described as a beautiful love story staring a man and his Luther Burger (and filmed at the infamous Daly City Double Threat):


The Where-Is-Your-God-Now? Burger from MAKE MOVIES on Vimeo.

If this doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you have no soul.