I awoke to much confusion trying to figure out where I was and who Jonny was standing at the door talking to. Sam's neighbors ended up bitching out Jonny for the misdeeds of some evil party goers. We got our bearings, pushed a car out of the way that was blocking our van, got breakfast at some bastardized version of a Bob's Big Boy, and headed to Madison. We were to play a show at Eleanor's sister's house near UW. We arrived to a warm reception and taco dip. We set up early, and Jonny, as our newly signed manager, set up the MIP room for us to keep the hordes of loyal fans away from us. We were the only band so we were able to wait until the perfect time to play. We ended up deciding to play at around 11:45 due to our impending drunkenness. The crowd seemed into it at the beginning, but by around the third or fourth song, the crowd began to thin. I managed to cut the hizzle out of my finger and bled all over my shirt, guitar, etc. Then, right on cue, the computer died on us, and we were forced to close with a rousing rendition of Fear Factor and call it a night. We were once again treated to varied praise/crticism about the rock experience, but sold zero CD's. We regrouped and got our Madison, Wisconsin on. We soon lost all control as our alcohol intake made us unable to stop a parade of party goers from jamming on our instruments. The high point of the jamming came with a wonderful rendition of "get fucked up!" by a fine representative of the Madison community, immediately followed by "I wanna get fucked" - the remix version performed by his good friend. The constant jamming continued long into the night as we just let it go and made friends and enemies. The most incredible person of the night award went to some guy who had been in penetentiaries all across america, tried for attempted murder, and was in love with Jonny's "groin satchel." Around four, as if on cue, the police showed up, but it was quite uneventful. They asked nicely that the jamming stop, and went on their way, shaking their heads. Jonny went off to explore Madison on someone's bike, and everyone pretty much dropped like flies, thus concluding the eastern portion of our winter tour - one week in.

Shows Played:4
CD's Sold:5
Shows broken up by the police:4 for 4
Money Made:$25

We woke up early to go check out some more sights with Unkie Dan, packed up the van, and met up with Cat. She took us around the University of Chicago where the highlight by far was a local fried chicken place we stopped into. After that, we left the Windy City with high hopes for the show that night in Paw Paw, MI. We found the general area of the "venue" quite quickly, but as is standard practice, went to the wrong house. Once we found the correct house we entered a strange new world - that of Paw Paw, MI. We were a part of a six band bill, and we would be playing in a garage. The basement/bar area was lined with old arcade games, including Bad Dudes and Asteroids. The house was in the middle of a neighborhood in Paw Paw, and was the residence of a kid about our age, Sam, his father and his six or seven year old sister. The house was trashed, and apparently the scene of weekly parties, fights, and car burnings. It seemed quite obvious that this would be the best show ever. Supposedly, we were going to be playing with another band called Slow Children in a sort of battle of the bands. We quickly found that out of intense fear, the other band had changed their name. So we chalked up the victory and moved on. We played second, after the band formerly known as Slow Children, to a very hodge podge but fairly sizable and receptive audience. We actually sold some CD's, and quickly packed up so we could party with some real Paw Paw people. Joe DiPrima, our contact in Paw Paw and member of the former Slow Children, managed to break his foot while moshing to the band after us. This was our first oppurtunity to break out the uniforms, which seemed to be a hit and made me regret I didn't go for the groin stripe as Jonny did, for the ladies could not get enough of it. After the semi weenus metal hardcore band that broke Joe's foot came Army/Navy, which was quite good, sounding like any angrier more rocking Ben Folds. The most anticipated band, Thrive, was less weenus but more rapcore metal/hardcore, and was described, by its own members, as the best band of the night. After attempting to listen, but apparently just not getting it, Jonny and I went upstairs to try and claim some sort of sleeping location. Oliver had, by this point, holed himself up in the van. As we sat upstairs watching cartoon network, people started scampering around due to the sudden police presence at the house. Kids ran off into the woods, Sam was fighting with the police trying to keep them out of the house, and at least one person was taken to jail. Thrive's set was unfortunately cut short. We never actually saw the police, and soon passed out on couches. Frequently throughout the night I woke to people returning to the house after their jaunts in the woods.

Shows Played:3
CD's Sold:5
Shows broken up by the police: 3 for 3
Money Made:$25

We spent the entire day eating and drinking with slight pauses to drive around the city and watch television. This was, in fact, a big rock tour.

Shows Played:2
CD's Sold:1
Incredible meals in a row:4
Money Made:$5

Jonny woke up extremely pissed off at how cold is was in the ice moon buggy, quickly hopped in the drivers seat and we were off to Chicago. Our first stop in Chicago was Hamburger University (standard). After getting over the initial shock of seeing that the place actually existed, we decided to enter and investigate this amazing place further. We met two girls from Norway who had been flown in for a week's worth of intense hamburger training. The security guard watched us like a hawk, apparently fearing that we would steal their closely guarded Hamburger Secrets. We searched around and finally found a gift shop where I had to resist very hard to keep from buying a Hamburger University T-Shirt. Oliver, however, was not so lucky. I left there feeling quite suspicious of the secrets that were kept in there, and upset that I had neither picked up an application to further the investigation and that there was not a single McDonalds on the grounds. Unbelieveable. We then headed into the city and found Jonny's uncle Dan's house. We were then treated to amazing accomodations, food, and an ass ton of wine. At a point in the post dinner conversation, it became quite obvious that everyone at the table was quite jealous of the fabulous sweater that I was wearing at the time and they were venting this jealously by making fun of it (sniff). After far too much wine we departed to meet up with Jonny's friend Cat. We ended up heading out to a club called "The Note" and saw some fairly decent live hip hop. It made me quite sad that I never get to see that kind of thing. We left the bar completely insane from lack of sleep and too much winage. Cat was nice enough to drive us back to Unkie Dan's place where spent a little time reflecting on the serious violence problem that it was becoming quite apparent that Jonny possessed. This was compounded by a very creepy speech he gave to Oliver and I as we slept. I'll be quite honest......I'm scared. Very very scared.

Shows Played:2
CD's Sold:1
Fast Food Universities Investigated:1
Money Made:$5

The plan for the day was to make an appearance at another of our local haunts - The Conan O'Brien Show. The catch was that we had to be at Rockefeller Center at 9am, so this did not happen. So we got very cheap but very goood dumplings/asian cuisine with emre, visited our friend thibault's frilly french store near the West Village, went to the virgin megastore and planted our cd conveniently among the Britney Spears CD's, and caught the train out of town. Upon arriving in Trenton we were forced to stay in the parking garage for a good 20 minutes because the computer chip that controlled the small flimsy piece of wood that was blocking our way was broken. We finally got on the road, and after a small amount of driving in no direction in paticular, found our way onto the road to Chicago. The weather sucked, Pennsylvania was very long, and our insanity was slowly becoming more and more evident. This was comforting because we were on Day 3 of our big rock tour. Two major discoveries were made on the trip between Trenton and Chicago - Ohio is somehow connected to a vast conspiracy involving the moon, heinz, the PA turnpike, and spee dee quick stops, and Indiana is the New Jersey of the midwest. Upon approaching Chicago we realized we were showing up right around rush hour, so we pulled into a service area to catch some sleep. This was, in fact, a huge rock tour.

Shows Played:2
CD's Sold:1
Intergalactical conspiracies unravelled:1
Money Made:$5

I awoke to slight confusion and a sore back, and woke up Jonny. Oliver was nowhere to be found, but that case was soon solved with a map showing us the location of the van that he was sleeping in. We escaped the watchful eye of the Towson Police again and found the van. We departed the university happy with the fact that this was just the second day of a five week tour. Today was the day I personally had been looking foward to for months, and one of the original reasons for this tour taking place in the first place: The Chesapeake House show. Passing the Maryland House and turning up our noses, we arrived at the Chesapeake House with high hopes and dwindling hangovers. The location was selected, a nice little cove right outside the northbound door, and after a visit to Popeye's and Hot Dog muthafuckin City, we were ready to rock. Armed with our mobile show apparati, a boom box, guitar and portable amp, hit sticks, and other various toys, we were ready to pan handle/play a super rock show. The electronics kicked in and we fell into a nice little groove quickly, suprising due to the dropping temperature and stripped down show set up. The one expectation I had for this show was that it would be incredible, and that came through, but what I didn't expect was the general indifference of our audience. We definitley got our share our glances, stares, stop and gawks, hateful devil faces, etc. but we also got a lot of walk-right-past-and-don't-even-look-overs. Shocking. By the third song, our biggest fan on the Maryland State Police force came up, attempted to say he appreciated what we were doing, but couldn't spit it out, and told us that we should stop. We conceded and with less fanfare than the night before, the show was over. All in all, highly sucessful. We continued on to NYC, making only the necessary stop in Philadelphia for cheesesteaks. This was, in fact, a big rock tour. We took the train from Trenton to the city, and stumbled around the city until we found emre......our NYC guide. We went out, made our presence known at CBGB's (our local haunt), met up with friends, etc. We ended the night by taking advantage of the fact that Emre had said that maybe one of us could stay at his closet of an apartment by all going back there to sleep.

Shows Played:2
CD's Sold:1
Turnpike Service areas played at:1
Money Made:$5

After the obligatory stops at Wal Mart for the very nice yet very returnable digital video camera from Wal Mart, and MTO stop at Sheetz, we finally departed for Baltimore. Upon arriving at Jonny's brother Dan's dorm room at Towson State University, the subsequent quarters game made it quite obvious that the evening would not be complete without a show. This was, in fact, a rock tour. The venue was selected - the dorm lounge right outside of Dan's room. We figured that it being 11pm in a dorm lounge on a Sunday night and the show being completely unannounced was the perfect recipe for a successful show. After unloading and setting up, we determined that this was in fact an incredible idea. The show began at approximately 11:30, to a sparse yet quite supportive audience of 4 or 5. The second song of the set was highlighted by a guest appearance by "Bookie" the R.A. who came in with such questions as "What is this?" and "Can you turn that off?" Suprisingly right on cue, her second question was immediately followed by the drums kicking in and us getting much louder. It was called to our attention that the police were on their way, and that we should "keep rocking." After the second song, we decided that it had been a successful show and we should call it a night. After all, Towson was ill prepared for the rocking it had received and it would take days for them to recover from what they had just experienced. In the midst of packing up, we were greeted by two friendly Towson police officers. We denied our allegiance or ties to anyone at the school, being the noble souls that we are. This resulted in mass confusion and semi lecturing by the police officers. One police officer was heard to exclaim "What's wrong with you people?" as Oliver chugged a beer he had been asked to throw away and then set it on the counter. The police were astounded and could not comprehend the rock show that had just gone down and that we did not use proper trash receptacles. They seemed to be compatting this confusion by being quite hostile and calling us "kids." Notable only because the police appeared to be around 2 or 3 years older than us. By this time, our crowd had grown to a whopping 15 to 20 people, with more stragglers in the hallways surrounding the former rock scene. We received more help packing up than I've ever seen, and after that was complete we returned to the scene of the rocking to retrieve our identification cards that the police had borrowed. In a fairly surreal scene, we stood around a table as the police wrote us "FIR's" for our rocking misdeads while a crowd of on lookers watched in horror. After collecting our ID's and FIR's we attempted to "hang back" as the police left, but to no avail. We were told to leave the property immediately and not to return ever. If we were seen, we would be "taken with them." Being the quick thinker of the group, Oliver was able to convince them to let us return if we applied and were accepted to the university. So we hopped in the van and drove to the edge of the property and called Dan. We needed him to show us where the bar was. This was, in fact, a rock tour. Upon collecting Dan we headed off to some bar that was ridiculously crowded for a Sunday and having a mustache meant you were a drug dealer. After the bar closed we were able to return to Towson under the radar and sleep quite uncomfortably.

Shows Played:1
CD's Sold: 0
Universities banned from for life:1
Money Made: INSERT:CONTENT:END.00